BUILD CONFIDENCE & ELIMINATE COMPARISONS
I often hear things from my followers and people I’m coaching like:
“I could never do what you do!”
“I’m not brave enough to put myself out there on lives and videos.”
To comments like this, my response is always the same… YES. You. CAN! Listen, I know it feels intimidating to chase your dreams without fear of failure and rejection, but here’s the secret… you ready for it? You don’t. Not that you don’t do it (girl, DO IT), you do it in fear! And here’s the worst part—I’m going to give it to you right now so you don’t have to wonder what it will be. Ready again? You’re going to mess up. You’re going to fail. Yup, it’s going to happen. But you can either be afraid and not do it, or afraid and do it anyway.
Here's how to get started acting in fear. First step, stop the comparison. I know you watch the highlight reels of others doing the things that you want to be doing. They make it look easy, don’t they? They show one perfectly curated success at a time as they work toward goals similar to yours. But the highlight reel is not reality! Not even for them. The others you see are a lot more like you than you think. They struggle, they hustle, they feel embarrassed, disappointed, and afraid… just like you.
Also, when you compare yourself to others, you’re comparing apples to oranges. There may be similarities, but it’s not the same. You each have different situations, factors, strengths, and struggles. It’s true what they say about comparison being the thief of joy. What you focus on will grow – so focus on YOU, your dreams, your goals, and the action(s) YOU can take today to get you closer to those things.
Do it For You
Step two, stop worrying about what other people think. You may fear that people are going to judge you, make negative comments, think you’re “too much,” etc. Well, those people don’t pay your bills. The judgers and the haters do not add to your joy, or add any value to your life – monetary or other. Stop putting so much weight in people’s thoughts and feedback. Do what feels right for you. If it brings you joy or allows you to step closer to your goals, do it regardless of the potential thoughts of others. As Elise Meyers says… “if I’m too much for you, go find less”.
Focus on Healing
Start a journey of discovering and healing trauma that may be holding you back. Think about the experiences you’ve had that might be causing you to fear moving forward and taking action. Have you ever been made to feel stupid or silly or obnoxious or embarrassing or a failure? Maybe you’ve even been directly called one of those or a hundred other things by someone whose goal it was to shut you down. Maybe you were a victim of abuse in your childhood or adulthood and those scars have left you feeling less than confident. Even if you have moved on from these people and experiences, the trauma left may be keeping you from the success you desire.
Bringing forward and confronting these memories won’t likely be a pleasant thing to do. It’s not fun or comfortable to think about negative things that have happened to you. But most of the time growth isn’t comfortable. Just like there is pain and soreness after a good workout, there are pains associated with mental growth as well. If you feel something might be bubbling beneath the surface, it can be incredibly eye-opening and cleansing to bring these things to the surface and confront them when you’re in a good mental place to do so.
At the end of the day, your journey is your own. It’s different from mine, and anyone else’s. BUT, I promise that the one thing most, if not all of us who have gone after our dreams have in common, is that we did not start with no fear. We did it in fear, and will continue to do it in fear. So, I challenge you to take action before you feel ready.
As a Certified Transformational Nutrition® and Life Coach, I love helping people heal trauma, face fears and chase dreams! If you could use some guidance in any of these areas, I’d love to book a completely free consultation with YOU!
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Lucie Mitchell, CTNC & CTLC
Fierce and Beautiful Wellness, LLC
This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not medical, mental health or healthcare advice. The information presented here is not intended to diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any illness, medical condition or mental or emotional condition.